Truth and Love
by A Piece of My Heart
Summary: Final Lair scene, ALW. Christine had truly believed once that she loved Erik, like in a childhood fairtales. She learned that one couldn't force themself to love another and now she watches helplessly as her Angel implores her to do just this. Please R an


Disclaimer: I do not own Phantom of the Opera nor any of the characters within. All rights belong to Andrew Loyd Webber and other respective owners. This story is purely for personal recreation.

I know this scene has been written about many a time. I hope to present a slightly different point of view for Christine than is normally taken. I felt the need to write this though, because of a situation that has happened recently in my own life. The emotions expressed here are genuine. Now on to the story…

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**Truth and Love**

By: A Piece of My Heart

Oh God, she felt her heart breaking.

How could she do this? How was she supposed to choose? The answer was so obvious, yet she felt like she was betraying herself and the two men that cared deeply for her.

She stood gaping her fallen angel in front of her, Erik, who was making his impossible demands. Her childhood lover's life hung by a string, and yet the answer was hard to make.

She should go with Erik, if only to save Raoul's life.

But there was no reasoning with him. He was so desperate and looking into his pleading eyes at that moment wrenched her heart so badly that the physical agony was almost unbearable.

Why did she have to lie to save her love?

Oh Lord, she had tried to make herself love Erik. She had even made herself believe at one time she did. When his unnaturally beautiful voice soared through the room and filled an empty void in her heart, she had believed she had loved him. When he had listened to her lay bare her hearts anguish and hopes, she had believed she loved him. When her voice and his had intertwined in duets of passionate feelings she could not comprehend, she had believed she loved him.

Then Raoul had returned…

It was like a light in the darkness. He was pure and simply. He helped her organize the complex tangle that was her emotions.Her dead heart that had turned to stone with the death of her father was revived, as Erik had revived her soul.

Even still, she kept on lying to herself that she loved Erik.

The depth of his emotions was so deep. If she had been able to return the feelings, it would have been a love likeone only envisions in childhood fantasies and fairytales. It would have been a dream come true. He was so willing to do anything for her, if only she would love him.

But when she was with him for the first time, in both mind and body, she had realized that her feelings were not genuine. They were a farce, a callow wish that could and would never be fulfilled.

It was not his face, as he believed, that pushed her away. Her beliefs were too different from his, her ideals too naive.

She brought herself back to the present, the horrifying nightmare playing about before her eyes. She was reminded of this fact. Her angel was willing to kill so cold-heartedly while she herself abhorred murder. He was willing to go to such lengths to oblige her to love him.

He was willing to live with a lie, If only she would stay with him.

It was something more than just his beliefs, though. She did not know what it was the ultimately drove her away from him. Even if Raoul had not reentered her life, she was not sure if she would be able to truly love Erik.

In truth, their hearts were still very much hidden from each other.

Now, she felt a new feeling emerging.

Hate.

And as the horror completely gripped her, Christine yelled at Erik the words that resided within the inner sanctum of her heart for that instant. Her voice rang like a bell thorough the shadowy chasm Erik called home. It reminded her so much of his own heart and soul.

The pain in his eyes broke her resolve. The anger that quickly followed and the reiterated threat on Raoul's life reinstated it.

But then she saw her love fighting for his life, and she knew what choice she had to make…She had to betray herself.

Even as she walked towards the man she used to call "Angel", she found that she hated herself more for the pain she had put him through. Perhaps it had been her fault he had fallen for her so? Perhaps she had lead him on in some small way? Her feelings even now were muddled and murky. This test, this kiss, would tell.

And she kissed him.

It was exquisite, no doubt, though he was not experienced. There was something missing, though. It was at that moment Christine knew for certain she harbored no feelings of true love for Erik. It was also this moment that Erik realized this excruciating fact as well. Then he did what so many hopeless lovers have had to do.

He let her go.

For Christine, this victory was bitter sweet. These words took on a new definition for her. She had gained the life of her love, but had broken the spirit and the heart of her adored teacher. Even as he sent both her and Raoul away, she couldn't abandon him completely, despite the act he had almost committed.

She went back, if only to say a proper farewell. The site she found nearly brought tears to her eyes and she had to fight hard to turn away.

The declaration of love was even heartrending.

Words eluded her so she could not reply. All she was able to manage was to move her numb limbs to remove the ring he had given her from her finger and place it in his hand. At least it would be a small token, a remembrance.

Then she fled back to the boat. Raoul awaited her with open arms. Though it wrenched her heart unbearably, she felt she had made the right choice.

The child of twilight had forsaken the darkness for the light.

_finis_

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A/N: I hope you all enjoyed the story. Hopefully it was also not to clichéd. As I mentioned earlier, this story is written because of something that happened in my own life, which modeled this situation eerily well. It is a way for me to express my own feelings as well has paying homage to a timeless tale. 

Also, I am usually a die-hard EC shipper (just look at my favorites), but I felt that the RC pairing was more appropriate for this sort of story. My next phanphic will probably be an EC…if I can think of an idea that hasn't been done at least ten times before. Please do not forget to review. I like getting feedback from my readers.

Miles of smiles,

Mirea


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